Why is it that cheesesteaks cooking with onions smells so friggin good but when my little sister tackles me to the ground to smell her armpits that smell just like fried onion cheesesteaks I fight her to the death to not smell them?
TGIF, Did you remember to vote, I sure did! When life gives you lemons; make lemonaide, then find someone whose life has given them vodka and have a party. Votes in, return the party favor. HAGW (have a great weekend)!
I put an ad on craigslist to rehome my cat and in response I get an email from someone who was obviously upset asking me how I could do such a thing, a pet should be for life. Then she asked me if I would rehome my kids and what kind of price could I possibly put on them. I emailed her back saying if she gives me $50 for the cat, I'll throw my kids in for free.
CNN says to get over being angry, you should write down things you are grateful for. I’m grateful God gave me a mouth like a sailor and the talent to make up my own curse words during my fits of rage, I’m grateful for the hulk-like strength I have and amazed I could throw a person so far across the room, I’m grateful for being arrested by a cop who looked like Adam Sandler but didn’t understand why I was singing the Hanukah song and giggling on the way to jail, and I’m grateful I kept the medical expenses down by only dislodging one of her teeth. I’m blessed!
Sorry I've been MIA. Wish I could say I've been off taping my reality show but unfortunately my baby boy got real sick two days before taping and I had to ungracefully bow out...boohoo. All is well now and I'm back in the saddle waiting for my next chance to come along.
