When someone makes you angry, bring your palms together, bow your head, and say, “Dear God.” Then jump up and attack like a drunken white girl outside of a bar. You'll catch them off guard because they’ll think you were praying. - have a great weekend, hopefully free of drunken white girl fights!
Isn't it odd the way everyone automatically assumes that the goo in soap dispensers is always soap? I like to fill mine with mustard, just to teach people a lesson in trust. VOTES VOTES VOTES
Sorry... i have not been on in a full week, i am at the end of the school year and the teachers are piling on the work... now i got finals next week i have to study for... but i am here now...
Ever tested the stretch capacity of a bra? My boobs push my bra to the limit every day and I discovered that when my hoo-ha pops out for any reason, my bra slingshots up so forcefully, I am lifted off the ground. - VOTES VOTES VOTES
I told him, “The doctor said holding in my anger raises my blood pressure so I need to release it.” Needless to say, the judge did not find that to be a valid excuse. - Have an awesome weekend!!!
My husband said to me the other day, “Honey, you won’t believe this crazy dream I had about you sleeping with the pool boy.” I thought, “Damn. I thought he was asleep.” - have a great Thursday!
I wish I could think of something to say everyday but I'm always so tired from always being so busy...so all I have to say today is voted oh and thanks!!
