Votes Are in....heres another classic joke: A guide dog led his master across the road against a red light and the traffic came to a screeching halt. When he reached the other side, the blind man patted the guide dog on the head. "Why are you patting it?" asked a passer-by. "It almost got you killed!" "Actually," said the blind man, "I'm looking for its ass so I can give it a really good kick."
The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading. After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude...?"
After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, "I guess you'd be eating alone."
Tuesday votes are in!
A long married couple are discussing ways of economising.
Husband says, "if you were any good in the kitchen we could get rid of the cook!"
His wife replies, "if you were any good in bed, we could get rid of the chauffeur!"
Votes are in..Have a wonderful evening!!
Was away for a day but Im back with votes. Missed everyone and now my joke of the day to hopefully put a smile on your face.
An elderly couple decide to celebrate their fiftieth anniversary by reliving their honeymoon. They get a reservation for the honeymoon suite in the same hotel at the same resort. After waking the next morning to a room service breakfast they begin eating in the nude. The wife says "Oh Harold! This is just like fifty years ago! My breasts feel all warm and tingly!"
To which he replies "Well, they ought to, Gladys... One is a hanging in your oatmeal, and the other is in your coffee!"
Anyone who believes that men are the equal of women has never seen a man trying to wrap a Christmas present. Have a wonderful Christmas eve!!! Your vote is in.
Thursday votes are in. Joke of The Day(rated: NC-17): A husband and wife noticed that their little boy's penis was a little too small so they took him to the doctor. They expressed their concerns to the doctor. The doctor said to feed the little boy lots of toast. The next morning, the wife gets up really early and makes a huge stack of toast... When the little boy comes down to breakfast, the mother says, "Take the top two slices. The rest are for your father."
Hump Day Votes are in! But heres a little joke before I go.
Some time after their bitter divorce, a man happened to pull up alongside his ex-wife at a traffic signal. He shouted over, "So... out looking for a little bit of sex, huh?"
She smiled sweetly and said, "No, I had six years of that with you. Now, I'm out looking for a LOT!"
Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs. Tuesday Votes are in!!!
A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: "Wife Wanted".
The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."
Sunday Votes are in!
Friday Votes are IN. Heres a joke for ya. A man sat in his attorney's office. "Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?" the lawyer said."Give me the bad news first.""Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars." "That's the bad news?" asked the man incredulously. "I can't wait to hear the terrible news.""The terrible news is that it's of you and your secretary."
