Who says your brain can't learn new things after it turns 50? I just drove 12 blocks in the right lane with my left turn signal on. I've never done that before! I'm so proud!!!!! Voted.
iam glad you like the joke ima keep bringing alot more you way, just to keep you smiling all the time
The Captain called the Sergeant in. "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones' mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me."
So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops. "Listen up, men," says the Sergeant. "Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way, Jones, your mother died, report to the commander."
Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his office. "Hey, Sarge, that was a pretty cold way to inform Jones his mother died. Couldn't you be a bit more tactful, next time?"
"Yes, sir," answered the Sarge.
A few months later, the Captain called the Sergeant in again with, "Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private McGrath's mother died. You'd better go tell him and send him in to see me. This time be more tactful."
So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation. "Ok, men, fall in and listen up." "Everybody with a mother, take two steps forward." "Not so fast, McGrath!"
2.~pain on my side~Little Johnny~
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny, a child in the Kindergarten class, seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and asked, "Johnny, what is the matter?"
Little Johnny groaned and responded , "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife."
passing by to show alot of Green Love, thank you for the support in everyway, here is the joke of the day, Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a log. "My what big eyes you have, Mr Wolf", says Little Red Riding Hood. The wolf jumps up and runs away. Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again. This time he is crouched behind a tree stump. "My what big ears you have, Mr Wolf", says Little Red Riding Hood. Again the wolf jumps up and runs away. Some distance further down the track Little Red Riding Hood again encounters the Big Bad Wolf, this time crouched behind a road sign. "My what big teeth you have, Mr Wolf", taunts Little Red Riding Hood. With that the Big Bad Wolf jumps up and screams... "Will you fuck off, I'm trying to take a shit !" hope you enjoy see you tommorrow
What a day! Ppl getting porn posts addressed from my fb page. Page being deleted. Replacing my compromised emails, then their associated bank, ebay, paypal... accounts, and so it cascades. Please send chewy brownies/cookies and milk (or hot chocolate... maybe a white russian). I'll vote twice in exchange for tons of sympathy!!!!! ROFLOL! (Oh yes you can! Once anonymously before you sign in (for yourself, too) and once after you sign in).
Glad that a joke could brighten up your day, laughter is good for your soul and spirt, voted for you.. here is the joke of the day!! An old lady is rocking away the last of her days on her front porch, reflecting on her long life, when--all of a sudden--a fairy godmother appears in front of her and informs her that she will be granted three wishes. "Well, now," says the old lady, "I guess I would like to be really rich." ** POOF *** her rocking chair turns to solid gold. "And, gee, I guess I wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful princess." *** POOF *** she turns into a beautiful young woman. "Your third wish?" asked the fairy godmother. Just then the old woman's cat wanders across the porch in front of them. "Ooh--can you change him into a handsome prince?" she asks. *** POOF *** there before her stands a young man more handsome than anyone could possibly imagine. She stares at him, smitten. With a smile that makes her knees weak, he saunters across the porch in his catlike way and whispers in her ear, "Bet you're sorry you had me neutered, aren't you?"....~Lito Bregante~ak~ GreeN
Voted for a Saturday. Spent all day getting a scanner online so I can get recipes scanned for publication. Publishing a church recipe book for Christmas. Sooooooo exhausted!
passing by to leave you muuuUucho love and your daily vote, here is the joke of the day enjoy "One day, a young boy comes home from school, and hears a strange man in the Bedroom with his mother. Hiding in the closet he see's a man in bed with his mother. Suddenly his mother looks up and says "Oh my god, my Husband is home early! Quick hide in the closet. Once inside the man hears a voice "man..it sure is dark in here... The man startled tries to quiet the lad "Shhh..please be quiet" The boy leans up and says "o.k. if you'll buy my Base ball" The man asks "how much?" The Kid says "$100" The man says "are you crazy? $100 for a base ball? The kid shrugs "I'll go ask dad then" O.k. o.k." the man says "here's $100. The next day, same thing..kid comes home, see's the man, The man ends up hiding in the closet. and hears the young voice... "Sure is dark in here?" The man sighs "look you gotta be quiet? The kid says "Sell ya my Ball mit for $100. The Man sighs and pays. Later that day, the Father asks the kid to play BaseBall. the Kids says he can't he sold his ball and glove. His dad asks how much and the kid shows him the $200. Immediately Furious, the man says "that was NOT a fair price, you cheated that man, you go to church and go to confession RIGHT NOW> So dad hauls the lad to church, and up to the confessional. The door closes and the Kid says "man, it sure is dark in here, and from the other side of the screen he hears a familiar voice say "don't start THAT Shyt again!..lol..hope you enjoy the joke ill pass by tommorrow!~Lito BreGante~
quotes of the day! much love always from Lito Bregante ak Green, Got you on every vote,
~“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.”
― Marilyn Monroe~
“You've gotta dance like there's nobody watching,
Love like you'll never be hurt,
Sing like there's nobody listening,
And live like it's heaven on earth.”
~
“We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.”
― Anaïs Nin ~
its T.G.I.Friday,hope you have a Good Friday and may God bless you in many way, much Love alwayz ~Lito "Dinero BreGante"~Ak~ GreeN~ Got you In Every vote~
got your back on every vote, see you tommorrow, hope you enjoy your day and sleep well at night, god bless and much love from ~Lito~ also Known as~ GreeN~
Posted 11/02/2011 09:30 am
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