Yeah. It would be great to get cast for a show with a friend. My witty sister and I were just chatting, and she diagnosed my cats' silly behavior as FIF: Feline Infectious FAIL. Haha, made my day.
Yeah...I just have a ton of cat stories, because mine are such characters. That's why I submitted to the, "Do you love cats?" show. I do love cats, and my cats could have their own comic strip. Another short, funny regular occurrence here is: Persephone does something naughty, and I grab the spray bottle to squirt her. My Siamese, who has done nothing wrong, runs and hides! Persephone just gives me a condescending cat look, and keeps on doing whatever she was doing before. Or, when she genuinely got lost under the blankets on my bed. She likes to sleep under my blankets, and one morning I got up and went to take a shower. I came back to find her circling under the sheets, crying. I lifted them up, and she bolted out. She got lost!
Yep...cats. Never boring! Persephone scared the hell out of the pizza guy the other night, during a poorly-planned escape attempt. If you can imagine, my place is the kind where the front door opens, and the staircase to the second floor is pretty much right there. And, at the top of the stairs, a rail blocks off the hall, but you can clearly see the front door. My dimwit jumped onto the rail, and then dove down, one story, to the tile landing by the front door! The resulting thud/splat scared the pizza guy, but fortunately the impact stunned little miss clueless enough for me to grab her before she could break for the door.
What does your kitty do? I have three...one is a four month old kitten, who gets into a little bit of trouble, a seven year old Siamese, who is pretty much a perfectly behaved animal...and my six year old Himalayan who deserves her own reality show more than I do! She's unbelievable! Despite there being nothing wrong with her eyes or brain, she runs into walls, and falls down the stairs, she's more destructive than a 150lbs dog, eats anything that will fit in her mouth (including jellybeans, and diced fruit, and she'll drink soda if I pour a glass with no lid), non-foods...her best accomplishment was chewing open three aluminum tubes, toothpaste, moisturizer and acne cream, EATING the contents, conning me out of $90 at a pet ER, and then not even getting sick. And, she sucks her tongue out at me when she's mad, like a spoiled toddler! And that just scratches the surface! What are the charges against your kitty? Lol!
The time is 4:20 a.m, and I awake to the distinct pre-barf cat sound...just before Persephone blew chunks...all over my bed. Apparently, after she fished a cardboard tv dinner box, with remnants of spaghetti, and a styrofoam bowl with remnants of ravioli out of the garbage, ate most of it, mixed with water and cat crunchies...and than hurled everywhere. What happened next? Well, I stumbled bleary-eyed out of bed to wash my blankets. The cat? Sat by her food dish and cried, expecting to be fed again! Yep...just another day with the brattiest cat in CO. Have a fantastic day! Your votes are in!
Advice, from a Darwin Award Honorable mention: "If you find that you have set yourself on fire, "Oh, darn!" Is NOT the right response. Instead, scream, "HOLY SH*T!! I'M F***ING ON FIRE!!" That way, your wife will certainly know something is wrong." ( Quote from an old Darwin Awards book I unearthed. ) Whenever you feel overwhelmed by the chaos in your life, remember, it could always be worse! Have a great Saturday - your votes are in!
