by Chandra Clewley

It’s the balmy end of summer when we catch up with The Real Housewives of New York City in the Hamptons. Ramona is throwing an end of the summer party on a leased yacht and she has invited Jill, LuAnn and Alex to come aboard. Ramon is renewing herself this season, and she starts by getting a cute haircut, gaining five pounds and lightening her hair. Jill is annoyed that Ramona is wearing a bikini and sticks her finger down her throat when Ramona says that her haircut is supposed to be like an older Cameron Diaz.  (It’s cute!)

Alex takes the extended olive branch to go on the yacht. Ramona brings out her jewelry that she has just finished designing and Jill thinks it is rude to not give everyone on the yacht a little gift of a piece of jewelry. She thinks Ramona is hocking it. 

Later, the great Ramona attack happens when LuAnn wants to talk about the Mario slam at Polo. Ramona asks if they can talk about it later since she is hosting a party, but LuAnn wants to talk about it then. Ramona apologizes. Then LuAnn wants to talk about it some more. Jill jumps in. Ramona feels attacked and says it is not the time or place for the conversation. Ramona thinks that Jill and LuAnn are “the mean girls”. We will hear this later in the season from another one of our Housewives, as well, so hang on to that statement.

Bethenny is modeling for a PETA campaign and we learn that she has a new boyfriend named Jason (totally confusing! NOT the Jason that was her original boyfriend on the show and inspired her to go on it, that is Jason Colodne, the jerk that didn’t want to cohabitate with her. This is Jason Hoppy, much cuter, much more hair, taller, in better shape and willing to commit! Go Bethenny!) Bethenny and Jill have had a falling out, which is why Bethenny is not invited to Ramona’s yacht party. Bethenny has come to believe that her relationship with Jill was that Jill wasn’t happy for Bethenny unless it directly affected herself.

For Jill’s part, Bobby had thyroid cancer and Bethenny sent flowers. So did her mailman. Obviously, some feelings are hurt here.

Jill, LuAnn and Kelly have lunch together. Jill doesn’t think she has given Kelly a chance. Jill is staying with LuAnn in the Hamptons. Kelly’s court case is finally over and done with. She asks LuAnn about the divorce and LuAnn says it is hard, she is sad but it’s time to move on. They ask Kelly if she is still with Max, the boy from last season, and Kelly says she is looking for Mr. Right, not Mr. Right Now. Only she says it completely backward and upside down so Jill and LuAnn get a little confused until Kelly spells it out. “Wait, wait, wait, you don’t want Mr. Right Right Now, you mean?”(LuAnn) “She wants a Mr.” (Jill). She wants something more serious. She wants to be “Robin to someone’s Batman.” Huh?

Bethenny asks LuAnn for drinks and when LuAnn has to cancel, they reschedule. Only this time, it is next to LuAnn’s home and an hour and a half drive for Bethenny, who rolls up in a Skinnygirl Beetle that Jason is driving. 

The first part of the most uncomfortable conversation of Real Housewives history starts with LuAnn asking Bethenny if she is going to be paying for the drinks since she asked to have drinks. This is in reference to the surfing lessons LuAnn stiffed Bethenny on. In LuAnn's world, if you are invited you are being paid for. This seems to throw the entire conversation into an awkward tip toe around the landmines kind of thing where Bethenny wants to know if she suggested that they go look at diamonds would LuAnn expect her to buy her one. LuAnn can’t be friends with Bethenny if Bethenny keeps up the snarky comments. Bethenny thinks that is very pot calling the kettle black. LuAnn says she isn’t the only one, and brings up Jill being upset too. Bethenny asks that they “work you and me out.”

Turns out the entire reason for the meeting wasn’t the above, but for Bethenny (who is shaking she is so caught off guard and upset) to let LuAnn know that she used to be fabulous but then she started judging people, and when she offered advice about giving men her number, LuAnn was a great big hypocrite and she does give out her number and pick up on guys etc. Bethenny tells LuAnn to “own it.” Somehow, in their circle, Bethenny has ended up looking like the  bad guy. LuAnn wants a truce and a toast and Bethenny is so off put and upset about their conversation that she needs a minute, she doesn't want to be fake. LuAnn asks about the Skinnygirl Beetle and clearly doesn’t understand the marketing element of it (Bethenny: People wear Hermes belts. I can wear a Skinnygirl Beetle. LuAnn: No one pays me to wear a Hermes belt. Bethenny: Exactly, you dumb drag queen. They're not paying you! That’s the point!”) In the end Bethenny feels gross. She felt that LuAnn was gross and she is ashamed about the entire lunch. It seems like she doesn’t think that they will be friends. She says she needs a bath.

Okay,this weird conversation didn't completely make sense....was their something edited out that the viewers don't know about? Bethenny wanted to meet for drinks to tell LuAnn to not be judgmental or hypocritical? 

The last 2 minutes are a collage of what will happen this season. If you can, try to watch this! This is going to be a GREAT Fall in New York!

The Real Housewives of New York City Season 3 airs Thursdays at 10/9c on Bravo.

 (Image courtesy of Bravo)

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