by Chandra Clewley

All I can say is “Wow!” about tonight’s episode of The Real Housewives of New York City. I mean, where do you even start?

I was going to do a play by play, but I think it would end up being too long, so just to go over some of the mind-boggling interactions, we will start off on the yacht, where we left last week. Bethenny is still butt hurt about the “you are not a chef, you are a cook” comments from Kelly. She brings it up and Kelly defends herself with maybe the only thing that makes sense out of her mouth this episode. This comes as she says, “Well, don’t say I am NOT smart, if you don’t know.” In the next breath, Kelly says “Ok, Satchels of Gold”. That about sums up the entire episode. Satchels of solid gold…

The gals and the boat dock and it turns out they are staying in a gicantor Villa. The place is amazing, and we get to see all of its 11,000 square feet. Bethenny is happy that she has the room to get away from the entire Kelly thing. She brings cute LL Bean bags with everyone’s initials sewn on, filled with fun stuff. Of course, this just windes Kelly up, who ends up crying alone in her room because she finds it so abhorrent and disingenuous of Bethenny. She calls Jill because she feels like she is “alone on scary island.” Jill even realizes that something is off with Kelly, who is so worked up, that she doesn’t complete a sentence while speaking with Jill. 

The next morning, Kelly offers to take the women’s photos as a gift to Ramona, and Bethenny bows out “of craziness”. Kelly makes a notepad that she calls the “complaint pad” and says that if anyone has something to say they should write it down. 

The gals go to the photo shoot. Sonja and Ramona do well, but Kelly and Alex do not gel together. Kelly is frustrated with Alex’s stiffness and says she is “marching with venom and a weird look on her face.”  Alex feels equally uncomfortable. 

Back in the city, LuAnn and Jill have lunch and Jill has decided she is going to make her trip to St. Barts a little longer and spring in on the girls for a surprise to Ramona. LuAnn tells her it is a terrible idea but Jill thinks that it might help her mend fences with Bethenny. She also tells LuAnn she has spoken to Kelly and she “can’t put 2 words together sometimes” so she doesn’t get what she is saying, but it isn’t good.

Bethenny makes dinner for the girls, as a gift to Ramona. As they begin to serve appetizers, Kelly is on her phone with her daughter on speaker and it is quite loud for shooting. Ramona asks her if she will go into a different room and Kelly snaps that “this is not about you!” Ramona is shocked.

Kelly is surprised that Bethenny did the food, being pregnant and all, and says the food isn’t great but the salad dressing is awesome. She is also surprised that Bethenny cooked and prepped, since according to Kelly, “Most chefs don’t do that.” At the dinner table, the gals bring up Jill whom no one has heard from, and Kelly admits to speaking with her and that Jill keeps asking after Bethenny. No one can get a word in edgewise as Kelly “unravels” and speaks over everyone, asks everyone to “zip it” and it’s not “1979” regarding sharing their feelings. She brings up Bethenny trying to kill her, and she says that Alex “channels these weird people” and at the party where she told off Jill she was “channeling a vampire.” Finally, Alex, Ramona and Bethenny get up from the table to take a break from Kelly’s randomness and nonsense and Bethenny feels vindicated for all of her feelings towards Kelly for the last 2 years. Sonja is left with Kelly, which keeps happening to her, and she tells Kelly that she is “getting weird.” 

When the girls come back, Sonja lets them know that something is really going on with Kelly, beyond the show and the cast. Bethenny snaps at Kelly and Sonja defends her, saying she is imbalanced and “we need to protect her now.”

Years ago, in reference to United States School shootings, such as Columbine, Chris Rock said that everyone wanted to know what music the kids were listening to, what television shows they were watching, and what he said after that, resounded tonight, so in closing, I borrow these famous words and attempt an answer:

“Whatever happened to crazy? What, you can't be crazy no more? Should we eliminate crazy from the dictionary?” I believe Crazy might be sitting in a villa in the Virgin Islands, speaking over everyone else in the cast of The Real Housewives of New York City.

Next week, it gets even hotter when Jill shows up as a surprise!

Catch an all new Real Housewives of New York City next Thursday night 10/9 c on Bravo

(Image courtesy of Bravo) 

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